Wake Me Up

Don't let me sleep with dreamers

Don't let my light flicker,

Bring my smile back, and my heart too,

Better still, leave all and bring me you,

Don't make me drown in my own loneliness,

I am stuck in this muck you put me in,

and its only you to wipe me clean.





Our son looks at me with those eyes of you,

asks where his mom is,

wether she will come back for him,

or get lost with the world
like the babysitter who locked him in,

and vanished with the shadows of noon.
Will you come back?

He asks with almost no tear in his eye,

but with a stack of hope I can only wish I had,

I have to tell a lie, I know its white

but that doesn't make it right.




Where are you?

You had a dream of a loving family,

more than just a potrait of smiling faces,

more than just sharing flesh and blood,

where is that dream?

Did you wake up at a wrong place?

Did I pinch you so much you woke up?

Did I intoxicate your thoughts with so much lust
you couldn't hold back?




I wish you could listen to our daughter,

the other day she had a nightmare,

a scary dream of you plunging down a dark cliff,

a dream I sadly live in day and night,

she knows things ain't right, she ain't dumb,

she knows a fake smile from a genuine frown,

and she knows I carry both home from work.




She says she's tired of my silence,

even when we play scrabble,

all words she forms relate to loneliness and a void,

she wants you, maybe more than I do,

she looks up to me to protect her from a motherless future,

my hands are tied behind my back,

my head buried deep in the sand,

my woes battle through layer after layer of reluctance stamped on you conscience,

mine tells me its not right.




My memories take me on a time travel,

back to when you said yes to my bending knee ,

and your finger embraced the engagement ring,

the day I knew I was complete and all I needed is make you complete too,

the day on the altar you said your vows and I said mine,

the day of our first born's birth,

seeing you in labor,

tight tendons and muffled screams,

sweat on your face and determination in you,
to give a life to our first,

I saw something I couldn't even imagine,

I saw the source of a mother's love...




I dont know whether I lost you along the way,

I dont know whether you lost me along the way,

But all I know is I lost myself when I lost you,

and I need to find you more than I want to find myself,

wake me from this dream.