Torn Between Thoughts

He called me queen,
Made me feel special,
Loved
Wanted
Gave me a place in his world,
Gave my fantasy a new home.

Yet,
With each kiss on my face he tainted my fate,
With each hug he took away the comfort I once had,
With each whisper he scrapped away what I held dear,
I wrote his name on my heart,
He wrote mine on sand,
Right where tides swept with strength.

With each passing moon,
Romantic walks turned into routine duties:
An opportunity to steal his hand from his selfishness,
A chance to look into his brown eyes
And smell the scent of evening grass,
A chance to love again.

The man I saw salvation in,
The missing piece in the broken jigsaw I called life,
The source of my smiles:
Now wanders with an open heart
Welcoming every nod in
While I stay, undecided,
Whether to stay broken,
Or linger around,
Or to let go.

Without him I am a carcass,
A body void of reason to hold on to life itself.

With him I seal my own prison,
I create my bondage with ropes taught tight,
I bury myself in an empty hole my eyes depict.
I am torn between decision and fate,
And none beckons.

By Rapando

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