Mortal Ace

In loving memory Ben Oyuoka,
Fare thee well darling.

There are times I see your face in the night sky,
I see your face outlines in the clouds,
I still see my life curled around your existence,
I still seek closure in the letter you left me,
The melodies of your last voice still play clear in my head.
Sometimes I see you,
It's like you're still here,
Like an immortal.

Yesternight I came across our necklaces,
The diamonds still new like our love used to be,
The buckles still smell of our morning fragrance.
I saw freckles of hope in my hands as I touched them,
I felt a connection to you.
Do you see me when you look down?
Do you miss the shadows under my eyes?
The clouds of mist around my being?
Do you?

The pile of your clothes remains unwashed in my house,
Because every evening I want to smell your sweat,
And assume you already came home.
I want to drown my clothes in the last drop of cologne you left,
So that every morning I simulate your presence next to me.
I want to cruise this life with your face clouding my mind,
Or I could just join you in the land of no return,

Sometimes i see you in my dreams,
No, I see you in reality and think it's an illusion,
I see your body with wings taking me with you,
I see your lips still sealed in the same way you left,
I see you chained,
I see you in me.
The ace I cannot find in these immortals.
For you,
were my mortal ace.