I Don't Belong

Before dawn,
I pray for the nights to be,
A little bit shorter,
But the night still burns me into crisp,
Holding me into hell,
Draining my eyes of energy,
Battered and bloodied,
Dawn awakens.

I feed off pity for my breakfast,
Lunch is never part of a meal,
Unless the rotten leftovers, That leaves a vile taste in my mouth and my stomach churning ,
Counts.
My dinner includes only tears,
And welcoming cold.

This is home,
For I know not of another,
I grew up here,
Learning every crack and crevice,
My home isn't a house,
Its my friends,
They are my home,
The only family I know,
So when I watch them suffer,
And deplete in number,
I feel my heart drip of their blood,
My heart sings to its hollowness,
For there's nothing more to love.

I see their core rot,
Until they smell foul,
The clattering of glass,
Not only an explanation,
But an indication,
Of the bottles sniffed up in their noses,
An escape from reality,
Only I haven't found my escape,
For I like to feel,
The torture and pain of the world.

I might be here,
But my mind travels a lot,
Heaven sent moments keep me sane,
For pain is all I need,
To know am alive,
Happiness is far fetched,
But I know the end,
Isn't forthcoming,
For I don't belong.