Come Back Daddy

The clock ticks to midnight,
Reading lamp ahead of me,
Book under my nose.
Covered in tears.
I don't know for how long this has happened.
Daddy please.
The intensity of tears I suppress,
The conversations I try to evade,
The days I wake up thinking about you.
You used to love me,
Yes, you used to.

You were proud of me,
Bragged about me to all your friends
Just because I was bright.
You treated me like your little girl,
Walked hand in hand with me each evening,
Asked me if I was okay,
Held me against the wind
So you could see my hair whirl.
You bought me chocolate,
Showed me my very first steps into womanhood,
Held me by the hand,
Shone light on my footsteps.
Daddy your love was pure and sincere.
You read to me bedtime stories,
Cheered me on when you realised I love to read,
Encouraged me to laugh always.
I always wanted to grow up and be you,
I don't know if I still do.

But now they're all memories,
Memories of a love gone sour,
Of a gift lost in mid air.
All that is left are sticks and stones,
A skeleton that used to be you.
You went with the wind daddy,
Wind that blows only to the west,
Seldom to my side.
All I see are the fights between you and mama,
Word fights.
It hurts daddy,
I am at the centre of all these.
I am a victim of war,
This is what you've turned me into,
Daddy please.

Daddy please,
I have been strong for long,
At least I have pretended to be.
I have fought fierce battles with my heart and mind,
Covered the battle scars with a beaming face.
I have lied to myself that you're perfect,
Painted beautiful scarecrows in your image.
I have filled my lips with praises about you,
Made you an envy of all my friends,
Wrote you the best of heartfelt messages.
Why do you never reply??
And now I am tired,
Crumbling,
Tearing apart,
Breaking down.
Tired of pretending I still feel your love
When all I feel is neglect.
Tired of feeding on sweat and tears.
Come back daddy,
Will you??